The Love in the Pain
by HakushoRurouni
Summary: On that fateful Christmas morning when Brennan thought her parents had come home, she realizes she's not the only one who is hurting.


**A/N: Season's greetings everyone! I'm back with a small contribution to the Yuletide festivities by way of _Bones_! In the last half a year I've become alarmingly addicted to _Bones_ and the opportunities to write for nearly each and every episode have nearly overwhelmed me. That being said, here's my two cents on this very merry Christmas Eve! Enjoy!  
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**P.S.-To those of you who are waiting on an update for _Avatar: Emergence _it is currently in the works, I promise. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own _Bones_. **

She didn't know what exactly had roused her from sleep; it could have been the cold draft that crept in through her window—it was a tradition she had started for herself a few Christmases ago as she loved the cold—or it could have been the dream she was having in which she had felt she was about to fall over the edge and her whole body had reacted with a sharp jerk.

But then there was a loud thump from downstairs and she realized what had woken her up. It _was_ Christmas morning after all so that could only have been Russ already rifling his way through his presents—

Her eyes shot open wide, her mouth dropping as she became fully aware of what she was thinking. If Russ was downstairs already opening presents then that could only mean…that their parents were back!

A few weeks ago her mother and father had up and left without any kind of warning whatsoever and they hadn't heard from them since. Temperance was convinced that they would come back, that she and Russ would have their parents again and, if the smell of pancakes, bacon and eggs and hot cocoa wafting up from downstairs was anything to go by, they were home.

As she rounded the corner on the staircase her eyes widened in delight at all the decorations that were covering the living room; the stockings hung above the fireplace where a fire was crackling merrily, Christmas lights were strung all around the room glowing softly with reds and greens. The paper snowflakes that she and Russ had made so many years ago dangled from the ceiling, the white and silver glitter sparkling as they caught the rays of sunlight filtering in from the frosted windows. A soft train whistle met her ears and she smiled as she saw the toy making its trek all around the living room atop the plastic tracks and, as she followed the locomotive's path her eyes lit up as they landed on the Christmas tree.

The tree was big—probably one of the biggest the family had ever had—nearly brushing the ceiling at its peak and its branches were covered in deep green needles. All over the tree were ornaments of all shapes and sizes; glass orbs of red, blue and gold styled with various patterns, handcrafted angels, Santa hats, rocking horses and mini-stockings decorated with dry macaroni, spiral noodles and hole-punched confetti, popsicle stick frames that held pictures of each member of the family, her and Russ, Mom and Dad and one—the largest—of the whole family, faces alight with joy and smiles permanently adorning their lips and finally, wrapped lightly all around the tree, were twinkling white lights that seemed to magnify the almost picture perfect scene before her.

Looking around Temperance tried to determine where her parents were—once she found them and Russ, this would officially be the best Christmas in her entire life. Not seeing anyone in the living room, she moved toward the kitchen where the delectable aroma of breakfast would have undoubtedly drawn the rest of her family.

As she came to the doorway she saw Russ at the stove, spatula in hand, working two different pans and a Santa hat atop his head, Christmas music playing softly from the small radio that rested on top of the fridge. She paused. Dad usually cooked breakfast on Christmas morning while the rest of them gorged themselves on cocoa and brownies and sang along with the radio. She stopped in the doorway and her eyes took in her brother and no one else; her mother wasn't sitting at the table with a loving smile on her face, a steaming mug of cocoa in one hand and a brownie in the other. Her father wasn't laughing boisterously, eyes twinkling with merriment and singing off key to classic carols.

It was just her and Russ. Alone

They weren't back.

She felt her bottom lip begin to quiver and her eyes moisten and all of a sudden her legs gave out and she fell to her knees, her sharp intake of breath as the tears began to fall startling Russ out of his harried cooking.

"Tempe!" he cried dropping the spatula and racing to her side, hands wrapping around her, "Tempe are you okay? Tempe?" When she didn't respond Russ grew worried and shook her gently, "Temperance_, talk to me_!"

Her eyes met finally met his and he saw the utter devastation in her blue eyes, "M-mom and D-dad…aren't here, are they?"

Russ swallowed thickly fighting his own tears as he shook his head, "No Tempe, they're not."

"I-I thought that…when I saw all the decorations a-a-and the train and the tree and _everything how it always was_…I thought they were _back_! I thought they came back Russ."

A heavy sigh left the older Brennan's lips, "That was me Tempe. I didn't want you to miss Christmas. I wanted you to come down to something familiar and feel like things were normal and not screwed up like they have been for the last couple of weeks."

She was silent though she shook with repressed sobs and gripped her hands tightly into fists, feeling her nails dig into her palms as an unspeakable rage tore through her, "I thought they were back Russ, I thought they came _home_! Why would you do that to me?! Why would you get my hopes up when you know that the only thing I wanted was Mom and Dad back?!"

Eyes wide in shock, Russ stuttered, "Tempe…I-I thought…I wanted—"

But she cut him off with a harsh glare, pushing his hands off of her, "NO! _FUCK YOU RUSS!_ You _didn't_ think! Without Mom and Dad there _is _no Christmas—there's no _point_! If you're going to give me _anything_ give me back Mom and Dad! I want them back! I want them _back_!"

He didn't think he was stopping his tears from falling anymore. He felt as though he had been slapped in the face, like he had taken a punch to the gut and couldn't breathe. He loved his little sister so much, that was why he had stayed up all night dragging box after box up from the basement and making sure everything was as it always had been every Christmas prior. And she was throwing it all back in his face, telling him he wasn't enough even though he had tried his best. Weakly he whispered, "I-I tried…"

At seeing her brother's broken and tear streaked face, all of the anger left Temperance in a rush and what she had said in her rage finally registered. She had lashed out at him, torn all his efforts apart and told him point blank that he wasn't enough—that he didn't matter! _How could she have done that?!_ He was her brother who had so obviously slaved away all night so that she wouldn't feel like she had lost everything this year, so she could feel—even if only for a moment—that things were back to normal. He was all she had now, just as she was to him.

She flung herself into her brother's chest, her hands gripping the front of his shirt tightly, her sobs returning full force.

"I'm sorry! Oh God, I'm so sorry Russ! I wasn't thinking I…I just…I just lost it. I'm so so sorry!" she tried desperately to bury herself further in his chest, wishing that he would wrap his arms around her again, hold her close and tell her that everything was going to be alright, "I love you Russ! I love you and I don't want you to leave me too! I know I was stupid and said those horrible things but I'm so _sorry!_ I couldn't stop it just came out! Please…_please_ don't leave me! Please say you still love me! _PLEASE!_"

The aching pain that had blown up in his chest when his sister had condemned his attempts at normalcy vanished at her words and he felt his heart soar. He still had his little sister—she still loved him. He wrapped his arms around her small frame and pulled her to him. "Oh Tempe! Of _course _I still love you! You're my little sister—I'm _always_ going to love you and nothing you say or do is _ever _going to change that! And I'm not going _anywhere_, you hear me? I am _not_ going to leave you Temperance; not now, not ever! Okay? Things will get hard, we'll have fights but I'll always be there for you Tempe, I promise. You got that?"

She nodded into his chest, her sobs muffled by his shirt. She clung desperately to her big brother, her own arms going around him as they both cried themselves out on the kitchen floor. The faint smell of burnt eggs and bacon reached them, but they ignored it. This—holding each other, comforting each other—was so much more important.

Russ, eyes closed and chin resting gently atop his sister's head, caught the tune that was now playing on the radio. Softly, he joined the crooning voice of Frank Sinatra and began to sing.

"_Have yourself a merry little Christmas,_

"_Let your heart be light,_

"_From now on our troubles will be out of sight,"_

Temperance felt her sobs slowing now, the soft melody soothing her fears and putting her at ease. She rested her cheek on Russ's chest, letting the vibrations running through it relax her even further.

"_Have yourself a merry little Christmas, _

"_Make the Yuletide gay,_

"_From now on our troubles will be miles away,_

"_Here we are as in olden days, _

"_Happy golden days of yore,_

"_Faithful friends who are dear to us,_

"_Gather near to us once more,"_

Russ ran his fingers through Tempe's hair softly, her steady breathing signaling that she had fallen asleep. He was happily surprised when—in her own whispered, though elegantly beautiful voice—she began to sing along with him.

"_Through the years we all will be together,_

"_If the Fates allow, _

"_Hang a shining star upon the highest bough,_

"_And have yourself a merry little Christmas now,"_

Slowing down, the two siblings sang the last line once more, holding the other tight thankful beyond words that they still had each other.

"_And have yourself a merry little Christmas…now."_

**A/N: Well, there you go people! Just a little something to satisfy your '_Bones_ Christmas' addiction. If you feel compelled to, drop a review before you head back on in to the _Bones_ archive and let me know what you thought. Other than that, Happy Holidays fellow Brennanites!  
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_**-HakushoRurouni**_


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